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May 23 2018

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imo the thing about certain diseases or disorders predominantely affecting one gender or the other is the criteria here isn’t someone’s essential “male” or “female” body. did you get exposed to a lot of testosterone in the womb? grats yr at risk for certain things. do you have working ovaries? do you have hypertrophic Skene’s glands (aka a prostate)? do you have a substantial amount of breast tissue? what’s the ratio of testosterone:estrogen in yr body? what’s the absolute amount of estrogen in yr body?

all of these things are risk factors for all sorts of different things, and if you want to break people down into risk categories, there are actual factual predictors for that kind of thing. and they’re not “is male” or “is female”, b/c those are incoherent categories

like make no mistake: “male” and “female” are easy categories, but they’re not really “medically accurate” wrt risk, they just happen to correlate roughly well for most people. and when i say “most people” i don’t even mean “non-intersex cis people”, i mean “people with a statistically average hormone load & sexual differentiation profile”.

kind of like how estimating yr height and weight from a statistical profile of people in yr country only works if you are, in fact, roughly close to being of average height and weight.

to add on to this, in many cases diagnosis based on being “male” or “female” is a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy based on what is perceived to be common knowledge. for example, say a cis man and a cis woman walk go to the doctor with identical symptoms - they could very easily be diagnosed differently, even if the reason they have the same symptoms is because they have the same problem to begin with. this happens a lot with heart disease; men are statistically at higher risk, but that happens because women go undiagnosed, and they go undiagnosed because men are supposed to be at higher risk, not women. It’s a vicious circle (sort of like the whole “women are more emotional because they’re socialized to be more emotional because in general they’re believed to be more emotional” thing)

the point is that biomedicine is a LOT more subjective than we think. yeah sure we like to believe that we’re accurately sorting out what’s wrong with our bodies, but think about it - someone somewhere has to sit down and decide what groups of symptoms count as a disease, which means it’s all too easy for personal bias to get involved in diagnoses when they’re supposed to be completely objective. so we construct these categories of “male” and “female” and say they are useful and important, when really they just make it really easy to perpetuate cycles of misinformation

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Knowing that trans women of color started the movement in the united states and were literally immediately erased and excluded from what they started is the most deeply jading knowledge.

It is the original sin of the so-called queer community and it damns it from the cradle.

no white gay boy will ever reblog this, watch:

no white gay will reblog this

no white lgb person will reblog this

Without Stonewall, without the efforts of Marsha P. Johnson and Sylvia Rivera, the LGBTQ Community wouldn’t be where it is today. Don’t forget the roots, don’t forget the catalyst.

and then TERFs wanna be like, “hmm well the LGBT community existed before Stonewall!”

but like…Becky, of course LGBTQ+ people existed before Stonewall. We’ve all existed since the beginning of time. But the movement got a shock to its senses, a jump-start, a rocket-into-space when that glass shattered via Marsha P. Johnson, and when Sylvia Rivera was up on-stage protesting guess who was on the sidelines heckling her?

The same fuckers who won’t ever reblog or acknowledge this

My apologies to the original poster as I photo captured this post to add to the thread-I reposted this last year for pride and expect to repost it every year I have left-it’s our history people.







I am a firm believer that consent education starting from a young age could directly lessen the amounts of rapes and sexual assaults.

We teach people not to rape. At least we say we do… We say “don’t rape” and then the media tells them that a rapist is a scary man jumping from the bushes.

We don’t teach people to get consent. That consent isn’t the absence of a no but the presence of an enthusiastic and informed yes.

You can ask someone if they raped someone and they’ll say no. But ask them if they got consent? They also will say no.

And it’s the same damn thing.

So, being the parent of a youngish kid, I think about this a lot. 

His natural tendency is to completely override my boundaries. I started working on this by not letting him twiddle the other damn nipple while he was nursing. People who’ve breastfed know what I mean here. This is normal baby behavior across mammalian species–they root, kneed, pound, pinch, twiddle, twist and we put up with it for a while because it helps the feeding go faster and then when it hits a certain point, it’s too much and tigers actually start cuffing their young away from the tit because they are So Done with the damn claws. 

Being a human who doesn’t like hitting, I put barriers in the way that made it very hard for him to do that, but eventually we had to have Talks about Bodily Autonomy. It took a while for him to stop, but he did, eventually stop.

Now, the lesson comes from tickling. I don’t just grab him and tickle him. I say, “Can I tickle you?”

And he will say, “Yes!” and then I tickle him and when he says “Stop!” I stop right away because this IS NOT about tickling him, it’s about teaching him that he has control over what happens to his body and that people will stop when he sets limits. And if he says, “No!” I say, “Okay.”

And sometimes he says stop, and then a few minutes later he says, “Tickle me now!” 

We’re working on interrupting, too, because that’s super duper important to being respectful. He is learning to put a hand on my forearm when he wants to get  a word in (at my request) rather than speaking over or demanding my attention when I’m in the middle of talking to someone else. Hand on my arm means that as soon as I find a natural pause in the conversation, I’ll say, “Okay, kiddo, your turn, what’s up?”

It’s just a process, one step at a time, tackling each part of it. The goal is to raise a child who feels 100% comfortable setting boundaries about their own body, without overrunning other people’s. He’s five, so we’re not talking about much in the way of complex dynamics like dating or whatnot, but he’s starting to ask questions about babies and he gets the answers he needs to the questions he asks. (I don’t have to explain sex to a five year old to answer the question, “Did I come out your mouth when I lived in your tummy?”  I figure I’ve got a year before he does what my eldest did and says, “I know how the baby grows in the tummy and the umbilical cord and placenta and how it gets born and all that, but how does it get IN there?”

This is all sex and consent ed. It started when he was a year and a half old, stopping him from pinching my damn nipples (most babies try to do this as soon as they have the motor coordination to do so). And stopping him from sticking his hand down my shirt when he was 4 and no longer nursing. And walking away when he tried to hit me, and insisting that he knock on the frigging bathroom door rather than bursting in like the goddamn Kool Aid man when I’m shitting.  (I have less hope on this one, my 12 year old still does it.)

It’s not letting it slide if he spouts up that boys are better than girls because some wee little asshole said so in kindergarten. (Seriously, I question wtf they are being taught at home.) It’s teaching him that if he sees injustice, it’s important to speak up. 

And it’s NOT easy. Five year olds are walking entitlement sponges. Like, no, kid, you don’t get literally everything just because you want it. That’s not how any of this works. But you can see things start to sink in, because I think people want to feel like they’re doing the right thing, and so yeah, he is paying attention. 

And I’m trying to set up a dynamic where he feels safe telling me anything. You know how parents talk about getting one word answers about how school was? I get BOOKS worth of narrative from this kid. 

It is not fast, it is not instant, and it requires daily work on the ideas of bodily autonomy. And the first step in teaching him about consent is teaching him how it feels to have control over what happens to his body.  One day he lets me tickle him, another day he doesn’t, and I don’t make a stink or try to persuade him either way. It’s amazing… kids actually like being tickled if they have CONTROL. Violate that control once, and you’re done forever. 

“how to be a mommy, by @Jenroses” is a book I would recommend once Jenrose gets around to writing it. :)

There’s a damn fine book out there by AK Press about this very subject, if anyone’s interested. It’s also half off rn.

Almost every night, I ask my daughter if I can kiss her good night, and she almost always says no. I always respect her choice.

Last night I asked my son, and he said, “no good night hug. Good night fist bump.” So that’s what we did.

My daughter was super iffy about some of the characters at Disney world this past week. We always assured her that it was her choice about whether she wanted to go hug a character or not.

This! My experiences raising my son are similar to those presented. Teaching bodily autonomy early works!


“The willingness to do creates the ability to do.” - Peter McWilliams


Dear everyone who is currently working on a Thing, whatever that Thing may be,

Good luck with the Thing. You can do the Thing. You will do the Thing. You just have to do the Thing.

Best wishes,

Someone who is also doing a Thing



Person: Your writing is so good!



You have been visited by the Thor of Positivity™! Take pride in your work and be confident in it! It may not be perfect but he knows you are working very hard and pouring your passion into it and therefore it is a Good Thing. 

May 22 2018

To all fanfiction writers out there



And Brought To Justice: Phase One, at 125k... is complete.

                                              Read here. 

Sequel soon to come!


the one thing all of us writers have in common is that none of us are fucking writing


It’s come to my attention that some people are traversing the interwebs of fandom without ever hearing of the Ms. Scribe Story or the Cassandra Claire Debacle.

At surface level, this is concerning because they are awesome stories, and everyone’s life is made a little better when they find an awesome story.

On more serious levels, fandom is a wacky place, full of people doing wacky, occasionally damaging things to each other. Some of that has evolved, but some of it is the same as it ever was. History rocks because you can learn from the mistakes of others, and maybe hurt people a little less in the future. Fandom being a giant, convoluted web of passion, some history that could use sharing goes missed.

The two stories linked are from early 2000s Harry Potter fandom. The Ms. Scribe Story is a tale of one person’s aggressive use of sockpuppets to work their way up fandom hierarchy. The Cassandra Claire Debacle is about how the top name in that fandom hierarchy is a plagiarist.

They’re prime examples of fandom being fandom in intensely negative ways. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a brand of fandom toxicity that isn’t on display in some way within these write-ups, and while that is admittedly sort of depressing, having things to point at that make you stop and think, “Wait, I’ve seen this before, this is not a thing I want to be part of,” can keep you out of some of the deeper fandom pitfalls.

They are also deeply fascinating reads. If you haven’t explored them before, or only know the summary versions, give them a shot.






Fanfiction isn’t written for you, it’s shared with you.


As a fanfiction writer, it’s taken me a long time to come to this realization, and ever since I have, I’ve been so much happier with my views of my work and my self-esteem. The person my fanfiction is written for is ME. When other people enjoy it, that’s wonderful and it makes me happy, but I shouldn’t beat myself up if people don’t. It’s not for them. It’s for me.

YES! Every once in a while, I’ll be like, “Ugh, this is such wish fulfillment garbage for MYSELF, what worthless trash.” And then I’m like, “Wait, no, that’s why I’m writing it.” If other people don’t like it? meh.

also a great reason not to hassle fic writers over not making content to your exact specifications. 

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hello my friends, i just wanted u all to know that the way Discord has stylized their logo text makes the letter “D” look like the letter “פ” in hebrew, which is called “pe” and is pronounced sort of like “p”

in conclusion: pisscorp

thank you for coming to my ted talk

My friend’s husband works for Discord. I had to show her this, and she had to show it to her husband. His reponse? The CEO is Jewish. He knew exactly what he was doing. “They don’t exactly take themselves too seriously.”


ya’ll are wrong. the two types of writers are really “i will talk about this and blog about it and make sixteen thought-out pages where i explore a single character point and i’ve written a novella on the backstory of another and actually involve others in my process”

and “if i so much as breathe about this before it’s ready and done, the story dies because it thinks i already told it”










what if every Tumblr user suddenly looses their mouse?

J = Next Post
K = Previous Post
L = Like
N = View Notes
Space = Show Photo
Shift + R = Reblog
Shift + E = Add to Queue
Z + Tab = Switch Blogs



I just reblogged this with the command, shit

Do you know how much this helps people who have trouble with the mouse? (Me, other disabled people) thank you

Yup, I use these when my hands get particularly weak (like now)

what i want to know is - what’s the key to go back and forward a page? infinite scrolling is a lagging pile of garbage so i have it set to pages instead

Left arrow / right arrow. One of the few keyboard shortcuts I use all the time.

Oh, and for all the shortcuts, just type ? (with the shift key) on any dashboard page, it’ll pop up a list. (not including the arrows for some reason, idky)


1900 as a whole century is so wild to me like it started off without people having sliced bread and it ended with seinfeld on TV 



I think the difficulty with understanding the paradigm of ‘Romance’ –> ‘has to have a happy end’ comes from the word being used for anything involving romantic things.

But a romance and a love story are two different things for writers.

Just to make this super clear to everyone…

Romance novels: Have to have an emotionally satisfying ending

Love stories: Don’t

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